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Posts Tagged ‘sabbatical’

Taking Time for the Self

Saturday, September 12, 2009

The more that I do my personal growth work, the more that I believe it is an essential part of my social justice work in the world. Each time I emerge from a powerful breathwork session or sitting meditation, not only do I feel refreshed and full of energy, but I have more clarity for the decisions I must make. Going further, I often realize how my own fears or unconscious patterns of behavior and thinking have limited me in my perspective or choice of action. The deeper I can go in my own transformation or cultivation of consciousness, the deeper I can go into a place of wisdom and Essence to inform my work in the world.

One day it occurred to me: what would it look like if I divided each day evenly into personal growth work and social justice work? What if I spent 4-6 hours each day in deep consciousness practice? How might that affect my productivity the other 4-6 hours? How might my perspective change about certain priorities? How might I manage stress and balance in my life? What would it look like to take time for the Self – and I’m talking Self with a capital “S”. Not just taking time for myself, but taking time to connect with the inner, life source beneath everything else.

So, I’ve decided that if I am working to advance this concept of Conscious Social Change – I should walk the walk. I have chosen to take September as a sabbatical to do just that – to embody a balance between personal transformation and societal transformation; inner and outer; Self and other as an experiment. So here we go.

I’ve decided to set a few ground rules and goals, but I’m also not eager to structure everything so that I can respond to needs, inspiration and the unknown that might arise. But here is the vision and loose commitment I am holding for this time:

1. I will spend time outside each day to reconnect with the Earth, which has so much wisdom to offer.
2. I will meditate and breathe each day in a sacred space.
3. I will read and reflect each day – I have chosen Pema Chodron’s The Wisdom of No Escape, as my readings and teaching each day.
4. I will ask the teachers in my life for guidance on personal growth areas.
5. I will sleep or rest as long as is needed each day.
6. I will drink lots of water.
7. I will exercise or do yoga and take vitamins each day.
8. I will eat vegetarian meals that I prepare using as many ingredients as I can from my own garden and local farms.
9. I will set aside time as a priority for my husband and close friends.
10. I will draw or play music each week as I feel called, to embrace artistic expression.
11. I will speak my truth with loving-kindness in relationship with others.
12. I will play with my animal companions (1 dog, 2 cats).
13. I will laugh.
14. I will try to read that stack of 5 books I have been wanting to read.
15. I will complete my research and writing I’ve been eager to do.
16. I will invite this process to help inform the strategic direction of Global Grassroots.
17. I will design new Conscious Social Change workshops to be offered in the US to help generate interest and revenue for our work in Africa.
18. I will not get caught up in responding to emails every day as they are received, but choose to dedicate my time to the highest priority in every moment.
19. I will continue my mentorship with those who need me.
20. I will work on my relationship to money and fundraising.
21. I will blog every day.

The minute I wrote these all down, they felt like 21 rules, which started to make the whole liberating idea of a sabbatical sound just like work. So I threw out blogging every day and so I’m now writing for the first time on September 12.

So how is it going? Big lesson on day 2.

The first day I slept in – pure luxury. I often espouse the need for people to work according to their own circadian rhythms as opposed to the social construct of a 9-5 work day. I feel so much better working that way, and tend to write with the clearest mind at around midnight.

I was very disciplined the first day. I spent a few hours in the morning conducting a clearing ritual for the start of my sabbatical, and meditating and breathing on my intentions for this time. I went for a jog, weeded my garden, walked in the woods with my dog, read a bit, had dinner with friends and accomplished a few creative work projects. Very refreshing.

The next day I was so obsessed with completing one of my work projects that everything else went out the window. No meditation, no jog, no outside, no glass of water. When I caught myself – like when you catch yourself thinking during meditation – it was already late into the evening. I noticed. I allowed myself to inquire. Tried not to judge.

I realized I have this unbelievable, unquenchable drive to complete a task, to accomplish something. I forget to eat. I get irritable if someone should think to call my cell phone. And if I do get derailed, I can’t stop thinking about what I need to get done. This inclination to be productive (while a very valuable trait, mind you) was sabotaging my ability to find balance. What’s up with that?

My first instinct was to feel frustrated that I couldn’t stick with my plan for investing in personal growth work each day. Oops, there I am judging. Then I committed to being more disciplined at setting that time aside. Oops, there’s that need to accomplish popping up again. Arrrgh! I found myself trapped in a circle of self-reprimands and new plans.

And then I realized I was in the lesson. How quickly what we need to work on will arise. If only we notice! Stop trying to fix it. Just be. Breathe.


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